12/06/2011

Original Ending to HOURGLASS

Em won!

Huge thanks to all of you who worked so hard and helped spread the word about the YA Sisterhood Heroine Tourney. It was such a close race! (I suspect Lily stuffed the ballot box. That's what BFF's do.)

Now for the original ending to HOURGLASS.

WARNING!

If you haven't read HOURGLASS, this is going to be insanely spoilery. I'll save the explanation for the end.


“Kaleb, you could have been hurt. Or worse,” I said.
“I’d do it again if I thought you were in trouble. Listen, there’s something I need to tell you. I want to get it out and get it over with.” His voice was low and rushed. I wanted to stop him, to keep him from speaking the words that would only hurt him in the long run. “I’m never going to say this again, okay?”
I didn’t answer, just crossed my arms and waited.
“I know Michael loves you. And I know why,” Kaleb shoved his hands in the back pockets of his jeans and looked at the floor, pausing for a second. “Because I love you, too.”
I exhaled as if someone had punched me in the stomach. I knew Kaleb wasn’t taking emotion from me, but it was flowing out as freely as blood from an open wound. “I don’t know what to –
“Don’t say anything. Please. Just tell me you’re going to understand why I don’t spend much time with the two of you from now on?”
“No – we don’t want that –
“For a while, Em,” he said roughly, focusing on the ground again. “Long enough for me to move past this.”
“If that’s the way it has to be.” I felt tears on my face and swiped at them with my hands.
“It is. Unless there’s a chance you’ll change your mind.”
“I don't feel the same way you do. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah,” he said, blowing out a breath. “Me, too. I want to give you something.” He took the silver disk I had seen him play with out of his pocket, flipping it up into the air. Miraculously, I caught it. “My mom gave me that right after my dad died.”
It was roughly the size of a quarter and engraved with the word “Hope.”
“Kaleb, I can’t take this.” I held it out to him.
“Yes, you can. I have my family back because of you. I owe you so much.”
I felt tears forming. I was a freaking faucet lately.
“Thank you.” I put the disc in my pocket. 
“One last thing," he said. "I need you to forgive me.”   
“For what?” 
“This.”
The kiss was quick, and excruciatingly gentle. I wasn’t prepared for the sadness I felt when his lips touched mine.
Or for the way the lights were flickering when I opened my eyes. 

END

OKAY SO. 

If you've read HOURGLASS, you know Kaleb throws Em off her game, but that Michael is her guy. In this ending, Michael is still her guy. The "physics" Em and Michael create when they touch is what they need to pass through a bridge together. So, the flickering lights were supposed to be a sign that Kaleb was a traveler, too.

(There was build up, I swear. I changed my mind about all that, so no, this isn't spoilery.) 

Keep in mind that this was the VERY FIRST ENDING (Winter 2009). This is the version that Awesome Agent Holly took on, GOD LOVE HER. I totally rewrote the second half before we went on submission. 

Then I totally rewrote the second half AGAIN in revisions for Excellent Editor Regina.

And the people said, "Amen."


(Okay, so I feel bad. There was an epilogue, for all you Michael fans. But I said ending. Not epilogue. Ahem.)

20 comments:

  1. Poweful ending. Loved it. :)

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  2. Oh, I totally love Kaleb :) Thanks for sharing Myra!!!

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  3. OH! And congrats on the win :)

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  4. Isn't it amazing how much things can change from the first draft to the last? Like BIG, PLOTTY, CHARACTER things. So cool. Thanks for sharing!

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  5. Oooo, that last line was killer! *sigh*

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  6. That was AWESOME!!! Loved it! :)

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  7. Congrats on the win!!! Em deserved it!!

    This made my Kaleb-loving-heart break a little bit for what could have been.

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  8. WOOT! for my girl Em! Congrats on the win and L-O-V-E this alt ending...of course. We all love that bad boy with the heart right? There will always be a special place in my heart that is all Kaleb.

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  9. Yay Emerson! I loved that ending, but now I REALLY want that epilogue :) haha

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  10. Oh wow, that was all kinds of greatness!!! Those broken bad boys get me EVERYTIME!!! I am now dying even more for Timepiece!!! Thanks so much for sharing this with us & for all you do in the tournaments! You rock my face off!!!

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  11. Umm WOW!! can I just say that now I'm kinda sad that this got taken out LOL I so love Kaleb!!

    Thanks so much Myra! and Congrats to Em!!

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  12. Loved it! I know that Emerson was supposed to be with Michael, but I really wanted to give Kaleb a big hug while reading Hourglass. He is such an awesome character!

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  13. Congratulations to Em! LOVE seeing stuff like this, I understand there is an epilogue you might like to post in the future? ;)

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  14. Aw, I loved seeing that. It's so... processey. :)

    Congrats on your win.

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  15. sweet baby jesus. I love it.

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  16. I think my heart just cracked a bit after reading that. I really do love Kaleb! :)

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  17. I just hope Kaleb ends up happy. This scene is so sad and I feel so bad for him. I think he needs a giant hug.

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  18. Which ending is your own fave? Do you think conclusions get better and better, the more we rewrite them?

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  19. Em can have Michael, I wan Kaleb all to myself ;) hahaha!

    Congrats on the win! Now onward to round 2!

    Diana

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  20. *huge sigh* Aw Kaleb. You know I've been a huge Kaleb fan since I read the manuscript and I continue to stand by this, "Emerson should have chosen him (snickers), but since she didn't (I know M&E are perfect together), I get him all to myself"..... lol

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