10/10/2011

Bonus Scene from Kaleb's POV

This post is a voter reward for everyone who voted for Kaleb in the YA Sisterhood YA Crush Tourney. And ... it requires a little bit of explanation. The bonus scene below was a writing exercise, strictly for me, from an early draft of HOURGLASS. I was having trouble pinning Ava's personality down, as well as how Kaleb felt about her, and I wondered how Ava and Kaleb would interact alone. 


On the HOURGLASS timeline, it occurs during the NOT kiss between Emerson and Michael at the Renegade House (which originally was a kiss), just after Michael kicks Kaleb out of the room (where Kaleb originally was) so he and Em can have some privacy.

I COVET YOUR COMMENTS. I'd really love to know what you think about Ava and/or Kaleb. 

"I flew out of the room, my head barely missing a direct hit against the rails of the polished wood banister that led up the stairs.
Not that I blamed Mike. He obviously had some personal business to attend to. Business I couldn’t deny I’d like to be attending to myself.
I sat down on the second step up and dropped my head into my hands, closing my eyes. Emerson. She was like a tiny little firecracker, with an attitude to match. I’d never met anyone like her. I finally meet a girl who qualifies for more than a hook up and she’s taken.
By my best friend.
Not that I planned to do anything about it, except get over it. They were exactly like my parents, the same kind of obstacle shattering, all in, forever kind of love. I’d seen it my whole life. I just didn’t understand it.
The lock on the door to the common area clicked.
Time to go plug my laptop into my surge protector.

*            *            *            *            *            *            *            *            *            *

As she turned the corner carrying a full load of laundry, Ava ran right into me. Clothes went everywhere. She gripped a plastic basket in her hands, her expression displaying her desire to hit me with it.
“I so do not need this right now.” Huffing out a breath, she dropped to her knees and gathered up what appeared to be a load of skimpy underwear.
“I’d offer to help, but that stuff looks kind of personal.” I drew the next word out to annoy her. “Kinky.”
“Oh shut up, Kaleb.” Scooping up a pink pair of thongs that were the exact same color of her cheeks, she stood up and balanced the basket on her hip. “You’d never help me do anything. Except maybe jump off a cliff.” 
I’d never seen Ava embarrassed. Reassessing the situation, I took in her long legs, tiny blue shorts and even tinier tank top. By the time I got to her face it was full blown red. She’d been serious about putting the moves on Mike.
This was too easy, and the perfect way to take out my current frustrations. I’d rather be a lover than a fighter, but sometimes a good fight could meet a need that love never could.
“Oh Ava, I don’t know,” I said, “I can think of a couple of things I could help you do.”
“You’re such a jerk.”
“That really hurts.” I poked out my lips in a pout. She stood and tried to go around me, but I blocked her. “Now that Mike is off the market don’t you need a new man to spend your time on?”
Ava made a choking sound, disgust and shock fighting for control. “Have you been drinking again? Spending time on you ranks below any horrible thing I could imagine, including,” she stuttered, searching for the right ammunition, “g- g- gathering stool samples from every living species.”
“Do I rank below Jonathan Landers?”
Her breath caught in her throat. “Low blow.”
“I give as good as I get, sweetheart.”
Her dark brown eyes were so full of anger that I should have stopped, taken a moment to dissect it. I should have been paying attention.
“What have I ever done to you, Kaleb, to make you hate me so much?”
“You have to ask? You’re a princess. Everyone else is just here to serve.” I curled my upper lip in disgust. “We’re lucky we don’t need a license to breathe the same air as you.”
“I never …” Ava took a step back, dropping the whole basket this time. “I’ve never acted like a princess. I take care of myself – I don’t ask anyone else for help – I do it all on my own … take care of myself… I …” She crossed her arms over her chest, her breathing shallow, hitching as she tried not to cry.
Despair. What was going on inside her was terrifying, the nasty, black, hate-filled pockets of self-loathing, the empty spaces where fear and doubt took up residence.
I’d crossed a line. I’d only wanted to spar with her, not break her down. I stepped forward, my hands up in a symbol of surrender. “Look, I’m sorry –
“Get out of my way. Move!” She tried to push past me, smacking my chest with both hands. Neither one of us expected it, but the second she touched me we connected, her emotions running through me like ice cold water and burning flame. I reached up to grab her wrists and closed my eyes, holding on, taking it in.
I’d never felt anyone so broken.
I physically hurt. My chest constricted, my head ached, my stomach twisted in knots. I wondered fleetingly if she felt like this all the time. Dark, hopeless. Empty. Her voice broke into my thoughts.
“Stop.” She twisted frantically to break my grasp. Her voice was a whisper, begging. “Stop. Please, please let me go.”
I forced myself to loosen my fingers. I’d just violated her in the worst way I could imagine. She knew about my ability. From the way she was shaking she knew that I’d just seen inside her, all the way to the bottom of her soul."

CONTENT IS PROPERTY OF MYRA MCENTIRE. PLEASE DO NOT REPRINT WITHOUT PERMISSION.



30 comments:

  1. Oh Kaleb, Kaleb, Kaleb...naughty and sensitive. *sigh* What a combo. LOVE him.

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  2. Awww I love Kaleb! Love Ava too, thanks for the bonus scene :D

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  3. THANK YOU GUYS! I know it hurts, Sophie, since it isn't Michael. :P

    And April, I'm glad you like Ava. She's so misunderstood. :(

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  4. I loved being in Kaleb's head for a little bit- how I love that boy!!!

    I also enjoyed the brief glimpse at Ava- I hope we get to learn a lot more about her in Hourglass 2.

    Thank you!!

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  5. Oh sweet, sexy, stormy Kaleb. Em can have Michael so I can dream about Kaleb :)

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  6. I'm sorry, I still don't like Ava. Mean girls are,hmm...some are redeemable but not her. Kaleb is an awesome character and I kinda hope he keeps carrying a flame for Em. Love the scene, btw.

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  7. I especially like this part:

    "Despair. What was going on inside her was terrifying, the nasty, black, hate-filled pockets of self-loathing, the empty spaces where fear and doubt took up residence."

    Great visual. :)

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  8. VERY engaging scene, but I have to agree with c-andyco -- I still don't like Ava, even if she is broken. Although seeing more of her like this might change my mind...

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  9. I LOVE the glimpse into Kaleb's mind. Man that boy is SEXY! Hourglass 2 can't come fast enough!

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  10. So engaging! I have not read Hourglass so this was my first exposure to your book. It prompted me to read the rest of our site and put Hourglass on my immediate TBR list!

    Thanks!

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  11. wow, love love love this<33 Thank you!

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  12. LOVE the dynamic between them. And I especially love how you aren't afraid to let Kaleb make a mess of things.

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  13. I love, love, love Kaleb! So many times I was tempted to root against Michael b/c I love Kaleb so much. I'm still not an Ava fan, so not a fan of Ava & Kaleb pairing up. But it would be interesting to gain insight into why she's so broken.

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  14. This is written so beautifully! Love your description of the entire scene and the intensity of the emotion. Fab. Looking forward to more and wishing you success. Liza

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  15. I love Kaleb too. But I'm still Team Michael. Thank you for this bonus scene!!! Love it so much!

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  16. Sooo Love Kaleb!!! Thank you so much that was GREAT!

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  17. Oh my, so good!!! Have I said that I love Kaleb?!?!? Because guess what?!?!? I DO!!!! This also makes me like Ava a little more. I didn't have much sympathy for her in Hourglass, but this makes me want to take another look. Thanks so much for the scene!!! As always, its wonderful!!!

    YA-Sisterhood

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  18. I actually love characters...like Ava...and Kaleb ...how not to love him?...you are simply brilliant!!
    I wish I could go to the future and read the sequel...but since that is not possible I'll just have to WAIT!

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  19. I'm glad it was just an exercise for the first book, since I think it reveals a little too much about Ava for that point in time. I like the fact that the "love triangle" is still going strong until the very end of Hourglass when you find out Ava isn't as evil as you think she is.

    I feel like she breaks down a little too quickly, need a little more 'wear and tear' to get her to the breaking point she gets to in the exercise, seeing as that she's always portrayed as being so hard. Or maybe that's the intent? To really show how vulnerable she is.

    That being said, I'm now kind of a fan of Kaleb/Ava ;D Kava? How would you mix that into a couples name? LOL! :D

    ALSO: I'm *totally* only trying to be constructively "critical." I do not in any way want to 'harsh on' your writing! I adore your writing; both you and your writing inspire me to 'surrender to the call' (kind of like you when you read the last Harry Potter, except I'm not as impressive a writer, haha. Look at that - just compared you to JK Rowling!)I've been looking forward to this scene ever since you posted about it on Twitter, and it's even better than I thought it would be!

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  20. Love it Miss Myra! Still think Ava is kind of a ...well we will leave it at that. I suppose that is how she is meant to be though. I actually like not liking her, you gotta have at least one of those.
    As for Keleb.... Well... Michael is hot and dreamy and yes totally swoon worthy. Keleb, on the other hand, is the broken, tattooed bad-boy you want to take home and do unmentionables to. *wink* Always a sucker for the tatted up bad-boys with a heart under all that conflict. Yum. This little snip-it does him justice and I for one cannot wait to hear more from the hotness that is Keleb.
    Bring it!

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  21. Wow Myra!!

    I loved this! Kaleb is like the underdog so many of us root for! I love him so much! This was definitely a wonderful scene though! Thank you so much for sharing it with all of us!

    I am very excited to read the next book whenever it comes out!
    I feel bad for Ava, I want her to be the bad girl turned good. She's trying hard but it seems to backfire with her a lot.

    Again, thank you for this!

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  22. I also love that a lot of people are torn between team Michael and team Kaleb.

    I like them both but there is something about Kaleb that I find myself drawn to more than Michael but Ahh!! I need to know what happens in book two!
    Still love seeing the Kaleb support out there too! And I agree with some others, I don't think I would want to see Kaleb pair up with Ava. But who knows, I'm sure you have some tricks up your sleeve! ;]

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  23. “I give as good as I get, sweetheart.”

    Yeeeeeeeeees.

    And! I actually like the dynamic between Ava and Kaleb. I think there's interesting potential there—not necessarily romantic, but I feel like perhaps the might understand each other better than they realize? Or maybe I'm grasping at straws there.

    Anyway. I love Kaleb and I love Hourglass and I love you and your kick-ass writing.

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  24. OH Kaleb! *sigh* I just want to adopt him LOL
    I liked seeing a different Ava, but Kaleb... MORE PLEASE!!!

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  25. Great now I'm on the fence, Team Micheal or Team Kaleb. Why must life be filled with such difficult decisions? I liked seeing a more vulnerable side to Ava.It makes me want to know more about her and her past and how she became so broken. Awesome scenes, can't wait for more but I will.

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  26. Okay, you just made me love my pirate-like Kaleb even more!! Yes, Emerson and Michael are made for each other...which means, can I please, please, pretty please with a cherry on top have Kaleb???!

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  27. I read this when you tweeted it days ago, but am just getting to comment now. I love it. I love it so very much. I love this boy and this girl and all the complicated stuff not being said between them. Lovely, Myra. Really.

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  28. I totally adore Kaleb, loved this scene!!!

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