SO DID MY CHILDREN. CLICK here to find out how much, and enter below to win a copy of your very own!
Here's a little bit about the book, available AUGUST 24th:
Slip on your acid-free gloves, make sure you have a duplicate copy of How to Grow Up and Rule the World (just in case something should happen to this one) and try to follow along as the incomparable, superior-in-all-ways Vordak the Incomprehensible teaches you a thing or two about villainy. Now you, too, can try (and fail) to attain Vordak's level of infamy.
From selecting the most dastardly name, to choosing the ideal henchmen, to engaging in witty repartee with disgustingly chipper superheroes, experienced supervillain Vordak the Incomprehensible guides readers step-by-step toward the ultimate goal of world domination (from his parents' basement in Trenton, New Jersey).
With chapter titles like "Bringing Out the Evil" and "Building a Top-Notch Evil Organization," numerous bold illustrations, and detailed quizzes to assess your level of dastardliness, this book provides everything necessary to rise above the masses, and then rub your ascent in their faces.
In return for this wealth of knowledge, Vordak requests nothing more than an honored place in the evil regime of he who achieves control of the world. (And, of course, the opportunity to assume command, should things not work out.)
Favorite comfort food?
Dry curd cottage cheese. I spend hours at a time rolling around in a vat of it. It's quite comforting.
Favorite game (think summer, flashlight tag, Marco Polo)?
Minion Jenga. They whine about who has to be on the bottom, but the screaming when the tower collapses more than makes up for it.
Sun worshipper, spray tan or SPF 50?
Seriously? Have you seen my inconceivable costume? I wear BLACK, for Tragnor's sake! Boots, gloves, a cape, the whole works. I'd like to see YOU spend a few hours under the sun in an ironclad Helmet of Disconcertment. I am an indoorsy person.
Beach or lake? Boat or shore?
Why choose when I WILL SOON HAVE ALL OF THEM WITHIN MY EVIL GRASP! MUAHAHAHAHA!! Lake.
Air conditioning or open windows?
Depends upon the lair. Insidious Submarines, Uncanny Underwater Domes, Mysterious Moon Bases and Ominously Orbiting Space Stations are definite no-no's when it come to opening the windows, especially if the screens aren't in.
Favorite summer drink (lemonade, iced sweet tea, Kool Aid, be specific)?
THE SWEET NECTAR OF EVIL! Seriously - it's sort of a mix between an Arnold Palmer and a mango smoothie. HUGE within the Supervillain community. Just delightful.
Ghost story or Truth or Dare?
Not a big fan of ghost stories, largely because they involve ghosts. So, I guess with your limited choice menu here, I'm stuck with Truth or Dare. And I'll bet a zombie's buttock I know what's coming next...
Truth? Or dare?
Yeppers. Could see that one coming a mile away. Well, being a Supervillain, I never tell the truth. Thus, a bright individual (not that I need to worry about that here) would simply take the opposite of what I say as fact. So I'm going to have to go with "dare", which should prove to be pretty entertaining, anyway, since any who would dare to dare Vordak the Incomprehensible will find themselves suspended over a tank of underfed piranhas.
What singer/musician/band is a must have for The Fort soundtrack?
Eh, someone "girly", like Air Supply or one of the Iglesiases.
What movie would you bring to watch?
High School Musical 2. Don't judge.
Who's the ideal male mascot for The Fort and why?
Great Gassy Goblins! No wonder you have never had a male interviewee on your blog. What are you planning to ask next - whether I like my marshmallows "lightly toasted" or "burned to a crisp"?
Marshmallows, lightly toasted or burned to a crisp?
Awake all night or first one to sleep?
Often times both. I frequently pull all-nighters, particularly when I have an ultimatum to issue in the morning. But, since I don't allow my henchmen or minions to sleep, I am still the first one to doze off.
If awake all night, practical joke or no (and what kind)?
Oh, I LOVE playing practical jokes on my minions. And they always fall for them - I DEMAND it! My favorites are the bucket of acid over the door and replacing their shampoo with nuclear waste. Oh, the chuckles!
If you could have any YA author visit The Fort and tell stories, who would it be and what story would you ask them to tell?
I am not familiar with all your pretentious publishing jargon, so I'll just go ahead and assume that by "YA" you mean "Yelling Aloud", and the only Yelling Aloud author I am familiar with is Dr. Levistar Freeptolken, who visited my classroom way back in 5th grade and screamed the entire contents of her 823 page non-fiction epic The Exotic Life of an Earthworm. If she's still alive, and you really want her in The Fort, be my guest. You two deserve each other.
Enter below to win an early finished copy of VORDAK THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE!