Secondly, I most certainly did NOT take a break and watch So You Think You Can Dance while fast forwarding through the talky parts. I listened to a couple of the talky parts and I have thoughts.
And, I DEFINITELY did not do the "Kermit the Frog Arm Flail" after Neil Haskell's performance.
Sometimes? People shouldn't talk. Like Taylor Lautner. I don't think he should talk. I think he should sit quietly, and occasionally smile to show off his orthodontia. When he does talk, he sounds practiced, coached, and waaaaay too mature. I realize Jacob is a fictional character (no, really, I do), but I am solidly Team Jacob in the book version, and he would totally run off at the mouth instead of sounding like a political candidate who has an obsession with beef patties in Ziploc bags.
Taylor Lautner for President, 2016: "I built all twelve of these abs, I can build America's economy. Also, my teeth are shiny. Go meat."
So, someone should tickle Taylor Lautner until he shrieks curse words, hand him some Orbit gum for his dirty mouth, and THEN let him talk.
On the other hand, when Robward Pattinson talks, he is exceedingly awkward and un-Edward-like. I enjoy this for three reasons.
One, I completely identify with his awkwardness (and therefore will continue to pay full price for movie tickets to watch him on the big screen).
Two, his lips move. And I like to watch his lips move.
Three, he is real to me. Not in that "I Know What You Had For Breakfast Because I Was Stalking You and I Really Like Those Pajama Pants With The Kittens On Them" kind of way, but in that "You Say What You Think and You Maaaaybe Shouldn't But Please DON'T EVER STOP" kind of way.
* grabs desperately for the point she intended to make when she started this post *
Just in case any of the So You Think You Can Dance (or American Idol for that matter) contestants read this, I have a suggestion.
Sometimes? People shouldn't talk.
Like when you don't do well, and you want to defend your performance? Don't talk.
Or when you do well, and people are trying to praise you? Don't talk.
Shiny teeth, people. They are the answer.
(That, or beef patties.)