Sometimes? People Shouldn't Talk.

First of all, I'm not here right now. I'm busy re-reading HOURGLASS and making notes.

Secondly, I most certainly did NOT take a break and watch So You Think You Can Dance while fast forwarding through the talky parts. I listened to a couple of the talky parts and I have thoughts.

And, I DEFINITELY did not do the "Kermit the Frog Arm Flail" after Neil Haskell's performance.


Sometimes? People shouldn't talk. Like Taylor Lautner. I don't think he should talk. I think he should sit quietly, and occasionally smile to show off his orthodontia. When he does talk, he sounds practiced, coached, and waaaaay too mature. I realize Jacob is a fictional character (no, really, I do), but I am solidly Team Jacob in the book version, and he would totally run off at the mouth instead of sounding like a political candidate who has an obsession with beef patties in Ziploc bags.

Taylor Lautner for President, 2016: "I built all twelve of these abs, I can build America's economy. Also, my teeth are shiny. Go meat."

So, someone should tickle Taylor Lautner until he shrieks curse words, hand him some Orbit gum for his dirty mouth, and THEN let him talk.

On the other hand, when Robward Pattinson talks, he is exceedingly awkward and un-Edward-like. I enjoy this for three reasons.

One, I completely identify with his awkwardness (and therefore will continue to pay full price for movie tickets to watch him on the big screen).

Two, his lips move. And I like to watch his lips move.

Three, he is real to me. Not in that "I Know What You Had For Breakfast Because I Was Stalking You and I Really Like Those Pajama Pants With The Kittens On Them" kind of way, but in that "You Say What You Think and You Maaaaybe Shouldn't But Please DON'T EVER STOP" kind of way.

* grabs desperately for the point she intended to make when she started this post *


Just in case any of the So You Think You Can Dance (or American Idol for that matter) contestants read this, I have a suggestion.

Sometimes? People shouldn't talk.

Like when you don't do well, and you want to defend your performance? Don't talk.

Or when you do well, and people are trying to praise you? Don't talk.

Just smile.

Shiny teeth, people. They are the answer.

(That, or beef patties.)


  1. Like now, when I've been shot full of anti-nausea will-make-you-drowsy-and-unaware-of-your-actions drugs...if I could feel my fingers I would caution to watch out for me on Twitter tonight, but I think I'm going to just pass out again.

  2. This is awesome! Sometimes we shouldn't talk, that advice should be heeded by all, even writers. BTW, I LOVE So You Think You Can Dance! When they defend their performance though, yikes, never good. We writers can learn from their mistakes! And watch a great show in the process!

  3. Okay, I should NOT read your posts while drinking. My laptop almost got a Pepsi bath. But that's why I love you. You are made of awesome! ;)

  4. I just really like Robert Pattinson a lot. He's funny and authentic and he and Kristen Stewart are both so deliciously intense and idealistic, but he still has a sense of humor.

    I agree about the not talking. Artists need to let their art speak for itself. Critiques are hard when the reader gets something you didn't mean. I try not to let myself say, "No, but what I meant was..." That's cheating, in my opinion, unless I'm soliciting their help to get it to where I want it to be.

  5. Super true. Smile and wave, and hope the judges don't ask you a question.

    (Love SYTYCD) :)

  6. This is pure awesomeness!

  7. TOTALLY agree about the contestants. and a p.s. to that: don't try to be funny. That's what they hired Cat for.

  8. So I just totally burst out laughing in the middle of the library. Great. Now people think I'm weird.
    But to you, I say YAYAMEN. -ahem-
    Very wonderous post.

  9. Oh yes! Definitely some people should be seen not heard. Or at least think it through before talking. Good advice for writers when getting feedback. Hold your tongue until you've had time to think it through objectively.

  10. I have to say I agree with you so much right now. Sometimes people just need to keep their mouths shut.

  11. I laughed that so many of the comments here include the word: "awesome."

    Regarding the topic of this entry, I agree they shouldn't talk. Many are simply not the sharpest tools in the shed. And they always reveal that their elevators simply do not reach the top floor.

  12. What i love most about this? You actually DID share that positive beef story with your friends.


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