I Scream, You Scream - No, Wait. I Don't Scream.

Many are anticipating the upcoming movie release of New Moon, the second installment of the Twilight Saga. I know I am. I've been thinking about all those actors and how much they must be dreading the unavoidable press and paparazzi looming on the horizon. The movie fandom was born at ComicCon 2008, to the tune of thousands screaming. And things have only gotten crazier.

My friend, Lori (Alphie from the Twilight Lexicon), has met many of the actors in the Twilight films, and if she stays in the business of fansites, will most likely meet more. She always maintains her professionalism and her calm - this is why she's still in the business of fansites. (Although I'm going to bust her publicly and share that I have received the occasional OMG text upon her introduction to certain people. I enjoy those texts. Living vicariously and all that.) Earlier this fall, Lori and my friend April were giving me grief about how they thought I would react if I ever met anyone famous. I believe wetting of the pants, hyperventilation and unconsciousness were mentioned - all three of which I freely admit would be a possibility - but I drew the line at screaming.

"You would!" April argued. "You would so scream. Hell, I'd scream."

But I won't. Here's why.

Famous people are still people. People contain souls and hearts and fears and stories and worth, regardless of financial status or their rank on any "important" list published by People or Forbes or the New York Times.

When you see Hugh Jackman at a movie premiere (and if you do, I'm jealous) and you scream at how incredibly hot he looks in his tux, you aren't honoring his person. You're openly lusting after his ass ... ets. You've just demoted him from a human who's exceptionally skilled in his chosen vocation to a piece o' meat. It's a different story if you scream and applaud as he presents an award or in appreciation for his performance of a rousing Oscar musical number.

I think what bothers me most is that it always seems to be the female population screaming at the male population. Hoots, hollers, catcalls, whistles, requests for signatures on panties ... stereotypically done by women to men in public venues. Objectification in its' truest form.

Teeming masses of males don't chase Megan Fox down the street holding out their unders and a Sharpie with tears cascading down their cheeks. They don't boast pictures of Kristen Stewart as Bella on their t-shirts, waving homemade posters asking her to bite them or offering to have her babies. Why? Because their friends would make fun of them for one thing - but mostly because the feminist population would plotz. (I'm also pretty sure she'd cuss them into the ground. Girlfriend has a mouth. I'll admit it. I kinda like it.)

Consider the classic question: If you could invite five people to dinner, who would they be and why? When they sat down at your table, would you scream at them? Or would you get to know them, share a chuckle, shower them with compliments? You might discuss great literature. Beg for juicy gossip. Request the details on the brand of hair gel they use.

You. would. not. scream.

I'm totally aware I'm going to get the response of "goes with the territory, they signed up for it, blah blah whatever." I understand. I'm just telling you why I'm not screaming, not why you shouldn't. Besides, I've got my own issues.

Should an opportunity to meet a famous person ever present itself, I have to remember to pack diapers, paper bags and smelling salts.


  1. I completely agree! Famous people should be changed to people who are famous. Because you're right, they're people first. Too often we put them up on a pedastal and forget they're really that different from us. Nope, I wouldn't scream. Though I admit, I may faint if I met Hugh Jackman.

  2. QFT: "When they sat down at your table, would you scream at them?" ROFL. I met Bill Clinton and did the opposite-- I could barely speak. But I'm awkward like that anyway. I don't expect meeting a movie star would go any better.

    And FWIW, the girls screaming on the footage of the trailers shown at Comic-Con was one of the most terrifying things I've ever heard. I am scared to see New Moon on opening night. I might have to wait until the hubbub has died down.

  3. Growing up in L.A. I would sneak onto movie sets a lot. I've said a lot of regrettably stupid things (I met Demi Moore when they were filming "Ghost" and the first words out of my mouth were "OMG, you cut your hair!!" Yeah, that just goes to show how OLD as well as how dumb I can be! But all my underwear is signature free. And I'm pleased to say that I never needed the diaper. Or the smelling salts :)

  4. I hate it when people scream!!!
    I want to go to an early showing of New Moon so I can hopefully miss the screaming teenagers again.

  5. If the person suddenly turned into a giant, snarling wolf and tried to rip your throat out, you WOULD scream -- admit it! ;-)

  6. If I ever had the good fortune to be in the same room with someone famous, I would probably ignore them just because I feel so bad about all the other people who harass them. That would be my gift to them... pretending I have no idea who they are.

    Besides, Hugh and I are both married. To other people. And I'm fat.

    So I would most definitely ignore him more than anyone.

  7. Once after a concert, my sister and I met my favorite rockstar. I told the security guard (third one I asked said okay, she was female) I was naming my child after him and could I get a picture for my baby book. No I didn't really name my child after him..;). We got to wait in the lobby with security after everyone left, we saw him and screamed his name. I got my pic with him, and seriously DO NOt remember the short conversation- I was SO starstruck (I was pregnant so NOT drinking). The lead singer also rubbed my belly and said, "Awww" when he saw me. So I sort of was composed but I don't remember the darn conversation!

  8. I've met a few celebrities and while it's kind of cool to tell your friends you met so and so, it's not too big of a deal for me.

    And if it's at all a hassle to meet someone famous, I'm not bothering. Just don't care enough.

    Possible exception: Stephen King. But I wouldn't scream unless he scared me.

  9. Heather - Pretty sure I might, too.

    Kate - I'm going opening night. 12:01. I'm sure I'll blog about it! (assuming I make it out alive)

    Sherri - But did you need a paper bag?

    Catie - Did you get to go to a Twilight early showing?? Luckeeee!

    Radagast - If I knew Taylor Lautner was underneath, I'm pretty sure I'd pee in my pants.

    Christine - I am QUITE sure Hugh would appreciate our maturity and our wisdom. While we appreciated his ass ... ets.

    Kelly - Post. those. pictures. Now.

    PMM - You totally stalk Rob Pattinson. Admit it.

  10. No, guys don't chase Megan Fox down the street screaming, but they DO gush about her online and on twitter in tasteless, demeaning, dehumanizing, insulting ways. I truly believe this habit of women screaming is their way of dealing with their lust, whereas men have other/different ways. Both are entirely wrong, IMO. But let's not let the boys off the hook. ;-)

  11. Two links for you:

    Not pregnant


  12. I just want to say right now to everyone who follows this blog that if Rob Pattinson walked into Myra's office right now......she would SCREAM. So suck it, Myra. You know I'm right.

    I scream when I see a mouse, too. Sometimes it's just a "Holy SH*T" type of reaction.

    I agree, the hoards of screaming teeny bops are scary and probably need to get a life. But at the end of the day, they are signing the paychecks. The very, VERY handsome paychecks of these celebs. To me the disrespectful part is the grabbiness. Geeze who would do such a thing? (See John Legend post)

  13. *squeal* You added the Zoolander Edward! :ROFL:

  14. If the person suddenly turned into a giant, snarling wolf and tried to rip your throat out, you WOULD scream -- admit it! ;-)


Tell us everything: