9/30/2009

Saturday Night Lies - Week Two















Photo Copyright MGM - Link

On iTunes: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Heart Status: There's No Place Like Home

Yeah, I know it's not Saturday.

Remember when I said I was a slacker?

To celebrate the awesome re-release of the Wizard of Oz movie, as well as my re-reading of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum for Banned Books Week, I have an Oz themed offering this week.


Week Two

Dorothy left Oz a long time ago.

Embracing the life of a thirty-something ______ in Kansas has grown _______. She's ready for some _______. So when the tornado warnings sound, Dorothy grabs _______ and leaves the storm cellar to go __________.

This time when she lands in Oz it's not on a witch, it's on a ________. This causes problems that can only be solved by _________. So Dorothy makes the journey, this time with ________, ________, ________ and most surprisingly a _____________.

They always say you can't go _______ again, but can you go to Oz again???

__________________________________________

And on a "Made of Win" note, I just received a hot pink Snuggie in the mail from my mother-in-law for my birthday.

I'm off to buy a vat of fabric softener so I can actually wear it and use my laptop at the same time without electrocuting myself.

10 comments:

  1. Dorothy left Oz a long time ago.
    Embracing the life of a thirty-something fry cook in Kansas has grown fattening. She's ready for some dancing. So when the tornado warnings sound, Dorothy grabs her red shoes and leaves the storm cellar to go on a game show.
    This time when she lands in Oz it's not on a witch, it's on So You Think You Can Dance. This causes problems that can only be solved by Simon Cowell. So Dorothy makes the journey, this time with Nigel, Cat, Adam and most surprisingly Paula Abdul.
    They always say you can't go to the top again, but can you go to Oz again???

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  2. Embracing the life of a thirty-something aerobics instructor by day/crack whore by night in Kansas has grown frantic. She's ready for some chillaxin. So when the tornado warnings sound, Dorothy grabs her pipe, leg warmers, and Vanilla Ice CD and leaves the storm cellar to go to Miami to visit grandma.

    This time when she lands in Oz it's not on a witch, it's on Ryan Seacrest. This causes problems that can only be solved by karaoke. So Dorothy makes the journey, this time with Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan, Nick Nolte, and most surprisingly a very sober Tommy Lee in a three piece suit and a ukelele.

    They always say you can't go hang your homies again, but can you go to Oz again???

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  3. Did you not get mine, or was it deemed inappropriate by the censors?

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  4. In the last line, I meant to write, hang with your homies. (Doh!)
    Sherrie, I was THIS CLOSE to making mine about American Idol!!!

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  5. PMP - I didn't get it!

    *giggles*

    Like I would ever deem anything inappropriate.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Damn. Must have screwed up the word verification.

    Is PMP meant to be shorthand for "pimp?" I guess I'll take it if you're using it colloquially, even if it is far from accurate. If not, PMM would probably make more sense. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Okay, second effort:

    Dorothy left Oz a long time ago.
    Embracing the life of a thirty-something tornado chaser (ironic, huh?) in Kansas has grown a little too exciting. She's ready for some old-fashioned mid-life monotony. So when the tornado warnings sound, Dorothy grabs her spinach and artichoke dip and leaves the storm cellar to go one of those scrapbooking parties where women without real jobs attempt to supplement the family income by selling funny stickers and oddly shaped scissors to other women who only attend out of a sense of obligation usually only felt by the fairer sex. These women then buy things that they don't really want and certainly don't need and then they put this stuff on a shelf in the basement where it takes up space that could be used for something practical.
    Like a hammer.
    This time when she lands in Oz it's not on a witch, it's on a kitchen floor, because they had Jello shots at the scrapbooking party and Dorothy, who'd always found the adrenaline rush of chasing tornados a sufficient high, had never had Jello shots and Jello shots are tasty, yo. So she takes too many and passes out. This causes problems that can only be solved by a trip to the local CVS. So Dorothy makes the journey, this time with Barbara, who's the only one sober enough to drive the next morning, Althea, who got so obliterated she showed her tatas and vomited spinach and artichoke dip all over "Big G's" package, and most surprisingly a male stipper named "Big G." (Althea's idea.)
    They always say you can't go to a scrapbooking party without coming home with all sorts of overpriced useless shit, but can you go to Oz again? (Oz being the state of unconsciousness sometimes experienced after having too many Jello shots. And of course, the answer is you can go to Oz again, but do you really want to? And actually, nobody really wants to, but sometimes the Jello shots just taste too good and before you know it you've had twenty and you're lying in a pool of your own puke on the kitchen floor of some lady you barely know. But people liked your dip. Yep, they really liked your dip. And you now own these really cool scissors that cut wavy lines in paper. So yeah, given the compensations, you might go to Oz again.)

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  8. Sorry, PMM.

    Must've been the Jello shots.

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  9. That is a funny one, PMM.
    I think Murph is a secret scrapbooker...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sorry, PMM.

    Must've been the Jello shots.

    ReplyDelete

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