Party in a Box

Heart Status: Heavy

On iTunes: The Resistance, the new release by Muse

This morning the Spider Monkey opens the front door (while mostly naked) and announces that we've received a package. I figure it's something for my husband for work. Dragging it in the front door and flipping it over, I take a look the return address label. It reads:

"Party In A Box"

When DH comes home, I'm upstairs doing laundry, but I can hear him ripping tape and sorting through the contents of the package. Next thing I know, he's upstairs, handing me the blue object you see pictured sitting atop my To Be Reviewed Stack.

It's a personal massager.

Because really, when you're having an office party, doesn't everyone in attendance need a personal massager? Especially when DH will be the one handing out the "favors," and most of the people he encounters in office visits are women?

I looked at DH and said, "Why not just pass out realllllly personal massagers?"

Isn't it all about what's appropriate? I have an inappropriate problem (meaning I am a lot). Some people find it charming, others run when they see me approaching. But even I know a personal massager giveaway in an office setting is most likely not a good idea.

I've been troubled by the news reports about the family who's involved in a dispute with Wal-Mart over bath time pictures of two children taken by their parents. I've seen four of the pictures, and frankly, I'm horrified that some Wal-Mart employee took it upon him or herself to report these parents for abuse because they took pictures of their kids wrapped in towels. Granted, I've not seen the other pictures, but the fact that the four I saw are actually being used as evidence in a court of law is heart-breaking.

I'm all about protecting children, but are we protecting the right kids? Would parents who were doing something wrong to their children that they wanted to hide have film developed at Wal-Mart? You can bet they won't now.

The Spider Monkey refuses to wear clothes MOST of the time. I have taken pictures of him completely naked in the following settings, and have emailed them to friends or briefly posted them on facebook:

a) sitting at my desk while typing on my computer
b) riding his tricycle inside
c) sitting on the kitchen counter (Clorox wipes are my friend)
d) jumping on the trampoline in the backyard
e) chasing his (fully-clothed) big brother

I'm always very careful to avoid his "business," because there are scary people out there. Does the fact that I think my kid is funny because of his penchant for nudity and the fact that I take pictures of him make me one of them?



  1. I agree w/ 100 percent on this blog post ... It's scary not knowing what some people will find offensive and that they'll now report to the authorities

  2. I have one of those massage things. Useless. It's in the basement somewhere. You can accomplish the same thing with knuckles and last I checked knuckles were free.

    Hadn't heard about the Wal-mart thing, but it sounds ridiculous.

  3. I for one can testify to how insane and delusional people can be. I learned that through five years of court. Years ago you could post pics of your kids cute nakedness (Mine are in underwear and panties on a regular basis, I'm lucky they don't strip I public so I'm right there will you on this), you could even post pictures of them when they thought it was fun to climb into the dryer, but not these days. People are board and delusion, and unfortunately it results in made up stories at the expense of other people. It is sad but true.

  4. i have so many pictures of my kids when they were younger that are probably "inappropriate". My friend's neighbours once offered to buy her kids some clothes, because they were always naked (growing up on a farm, she used to joke that they were "porch" trained, rather than potty trained).

    It seems strange to me that people will report things that don't matter, and some will ignore things that do matter. I read in the paper this morning about a former police officer who was molesting children, and their parents didnt report it, either because they were afraid of him and his friends with guns, or because they didnt want to ruin his career.

  5. I have a pretty funny story to share.
    My 2 yr old daughter, was never one to strip naked in front of others. Enter a policeman that was answering a call in my neighborhood about an older gentleman that was removing his clothing in the park and scaring children (thankfully mine wasn't one of them)
    Anyway, we were chatting and all of a sudden I turn and glance at my daughter who was playing with her dolls when I looked over a few minutes ago was completely naked and giggling. I swear I could have died of mortification. The officer laughed and said his young son does the same thing.


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